In the 1980s, I lived in some pretty shady places. After finishing at Sunderland Polytechnic I moved back to London and lived above a pawnbroker on Willesden High Road with my best friend and now business partner Richard. I got a job at Joe Allen’s as a waiter and bartender, kind of by accident, and I started to get interested in food. I became really good at one-pot specials and classic dishes, with simple market ingredients – a good stew, tagliatelle al ragu, carbonara, risotto …

Living above a pawnbroker’s, there was a stream of interesting characters milling around the entrance to our flat. A lot of petty criminals used to think our place was connected to the shop, so we’d get broken into about once a week. They’d quickly realise though that there was nothing to steal.

It was a three-bedroom flat set over two levels, with pretty nasty decor – heavy curtains and old furniture; it may have had patterned wallpaper. It definitely had a psychedelic paisley patterned carpet. What made it our own was the music we were listening to, and the posters. We were still kids – I was 22. Although, I still listen to the same things: The Smiths, Echo and The Bunnymen, Orange Juice and Stone Roses. Lots of Stone Roses, Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers, Van Morrison, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. It was the era of VHS, and we had a video rental shop opposite us. We’d frequently be watching Withnail and I …

The kitchen was basic – linoleum floor, a small Formica work surface, an old-fashioned gas hob. The other two didn’t cook, but I didn’t mind. I was a bit of a bully and a control freak in the kitchen – nothing much has changed! My wife would probably concur …

It was a good time. We’d eat in once or twice a week. There was a great music venue, the Mean Fiddler, a couple of miles away; we’d go and see bands there. It felt like a home. And it’s where it all started. Richard and our other flatmate, Graham, started their own ad-sales business in our living room, with our old dial phone. I thought I was just doing something to tide me over, but now I run a business and operate 10 restaurants – so I’d started my career too. Nowadays, Richard sits across the office from me every day – we’ve known each other for 31 years.

Spaghetti carbonara is one of the dishes I used to make a lot when I was teaching myself classic Italian dishes. The internet didn’t exist but I was, even then, aware of the debate over whether to use cream or not. I consulted Elizabeth David, Anna del Conte and The Silver Spoon. I decided, after trying various recipes, that cream was not necessary, egg yolks were better than whole eggs, and a combination of parmesan and pecorino gave the dish a lovely balance. The recipe below is the result of those experiments. It is important not to cook the yolks, so they must be added while the pan is off the heat, otherwise you end up with a scrambled egg appearance. The addition of the pasta cooking water takes a bit of practice – you want to loosen the sauce and make it yellow and glossy, not thin and watery.

I love cooking at home. I spend all my working hours managing my restaurants, but cooking for my family is relaxing. My children are unfussy and adventurous – they’ll eat anything I make for them. Lately they’ve started getting into spice and chilli, and Mabel, my youngest, is a huge Japanese fan – udon, sashimi, sushi.

Spaghetti carbonara

Serves 4
400g dried spaghetti
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
150g pancetta, cut into thick, short matchsticks
Black pepper
4 large egg yolks, beaten
100g parmesan, grated
20g pecorino, grated
1 Bring a large pan of salted water to the boil and cook the spaghetti according to the packet’s instructions.

2 Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large, heavy-based frying pan and saute the pancetta until it is starting to crisp and is turning golden brown.

3 Just before the spaghetti is done, scoop out a cupful of the cooking water and set aside. Drain the pasta and transfer to the pan of pancetta. While still on a low heat, coat every strand of spaghetti with the oil and make sure the pancetta is well incorporated. Add a few good twists of black pepper, too.

4 Remove the pan from the heat. Add the egg yolks and parmesan, then stir well with a splash or two of cooking water. Continue until the glossy sauce coats all the pasta strands.

5 Divide equally on to four warmed plates. Add the grated pecorino and a few more twists of black pepper.

• Russell Norman is chef-patron of Polpo and Polpetto restaurants. @polpo